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How's My Driving?

Not insane enough for you? Did you really want Kefka to murder you senselessly and he simply ignored your pitiful cries? Leave any constructive criticism you have here!

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Concerto no. 3 - Juggawhatnow? ~ Stage 1

[Phone, sometime in the afternoon]

[Sup Mayfield? Enjoy several minutes of absolutely hideous and deranged laughter on the other end of the line, before Kefka finally speaks up.]
Murder confessions, secret romances, and tragic pasts? You all sound like characters from some third rate opera! I've been sitting here, giggling to myself for days over how stupid all of you sound. You're just a bunch of horribly pathetic worms! Uwee-hee-hee!
[Early Morning Phone]
[You know, the sad thing is even while being fully droned, Kefka still comes off as... not all there. He just isn't anywhere near as... evil as usual? This will probably freak more than a few people that know him out.]

Why, hello all you beautiful people of Mayfield. I hope you're all enjoying this wonderful holiday. Tell me, just how are you celebrating your freedom? I'll be grilling up some delicious food if anyone cares to drop by. Why, we could even make it a block party! Oh, oh! And tonight? I'll be setting off the biggest display of fireworks you've even see! Uwee-hee-hee!

[Afternoonish at 952 Beulah Street]
[And just as he said, Kefka is out in his front yard, cooking up tables full of grilled hotdogs, steaks, burgers, veggies, whatever. ...Why is he even making this much food? It's not like anybody in their right mind would eat anything he's touch, right?]

[Late night at Makeout Point.]
[Well, it certainly took him some time to carry all these darned fireworks up here. But he'll be damned if he doesn't impress the whole town with his display. He promised the biggest fireworks show they've ever seen, and he'll deliver! ...Except, you know, in his drunken stupor he kind of accidentally mixed actual explosives in with the fireworks. So while Mayfield WILL get a pretty fireworks display over their nighttime Mayfield, they'll also be treated to several small explosions which may or may not result in a few trees catching on fire and a certain maniac getting pretty messed up. It's okay, he probably deserved it.]

Well.... That's certainly one way to go out with a... [coughhackcough.] bang.

Concerto no. 1

[Closed Action - 952 Beulah Street]

[For those familiar with Mayfield, it's probably not all that unusual to hear a loud, piercing scream escape from one of the many homes in the early morning. After all, who in their right mind wouldn't freak out upon awaking in a strange bed with somebody they didn't know? Doubly so if they remember, well, you know... being killed? And add that on top of the fact that he can't use ANY of his magic, nor does he have any of his make-up, or even his... erm, hair accessories, and you can kind of understand just why this man is freaking out. After throwing a huge fit resulting in the bedroom mirror being smashed, various objects being thrown out the window, and more than his share of hair pulling... he finally seems to have calmed down a bit. It's almost a creepy calm. Do you dare try and approach him now, family?]


Operator? Yes, I would like to be connected with your complaints department. This is NOT what I signed up for! Where's the lake of fire? The screams of sinners in agony!? All these stupid people do is SMILE! Even when I stabbed one of them in the eye with a butter knife! I demand a refund this instant!

Oh, and while you're at it, can you bring me a Moogle Pie? I'm starving.

[Multi-Choice Open Action]

[Well, one can't exactly learn about a place without exploring it for themselves, can they? A certain blonde with a makeshift ponytail can be found wandering the streets, inspecting random places and  objects of interest.]

A. The Mayfield Public Library

[Obviously, he'll find SOMETHING here! It's supposed to be an information center, after all! But after ripping book upon book off the shelves, he's only growing more frustrated. So, he's just going to start kicking the books around in another fit of rage.]

Why are all these books about such STUPID things!? I hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE this place!

B. Jonathon's Tools

[Well now, Kefka just hit the jackpot. Not that he was actually familiar with guns, but with a bit of poking around and asking he gleefully grabbed as many as he could and... well, you weren't expecting him to pay for them, were you? You'll find Kefka running down the street, giggling like a child with his arms full of various guns and... lacking any ammo. Oh Kefka.]

C. The Drive-In Theater

[Here you'll find Kefka totally mesmerized by whatever crappy B-movie they are showing today. He'll be cheering for the bad guys/monsters/whatever the hell they are and booing at your stupid happy endings. There may or may not be popcorn being thrown at the screen. Oh, yeah. He's totally sitting on your car, too. Hope you don't mind.]